What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize