You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
