very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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