check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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