dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
4 words: hood of his car
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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