did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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