I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
