You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
