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Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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