With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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