Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do vagina's smell?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
