I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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