I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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