Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
