am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
