I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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