The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i came on her dog
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
