I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Actions speak louder than pants.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
