I'm really into asian looking animals
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize