the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
