batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
