I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
