Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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