your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize