No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
