so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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