How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
