My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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