THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
