He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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