Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
