U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
