I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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