4 words: hood of his car
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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