Dual....:-)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
