on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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