need another drink. this is the easiest way
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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