Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
