I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
