she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
