Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
