The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My pussy is not your playground.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
