Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize