This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
