I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
