He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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