S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize