I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
