I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's JV to your varsity
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
