drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
