How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
