I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
