I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
