i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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