Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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