Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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