Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
