so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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