hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
