I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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