Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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