i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
