Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
