so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
