I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
