Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
